December 22 Entry 21

My perfect house most likely doesn't have an exact picture, because for the most part it's just a small house. The only defining feature of it would be the basement. The basement would have a very narrow staircase leading down to it and a door at the end of the staircase. It would also have no windows and a small bathroom through a door near the staircase. It would have thick carpeting and a lot of pillows everywhere. There would be a low ceiling and a desk with a gaming computer on one side, and a big-screen HD plasma tv with whatever system or systems I was currently using hooked up to on the other side. There would be a few beanbags near the tv and a comfy office chair in front of the computer. There would also be an amazing sound system connected to both the tv and computer On the last wall their would be a sofa and a big bookcase filled with any books I put in it. Other than the super-basement, the main house would only need the bare necessities for survival like a kitchen and bedroom. (although I'd probably often fall asleep in the basement on the couch). Herm. I can't think of anything that would make that house more awesome other than to have a pool or genie lamp or something. I actually saw the basement in a dream I had once and I've had that picture clearly in my head ever since. Of course, the house in the dream also featured an ornate indoor pool with golden railing and marble columns.

December 17, Entry 20

TIRE! Nope. No randomness. I think I'll actually try to be serious this time. Herm... what should I write about? I think I'll write about someone named... Servei! Eh. It'll have to do. What nationality is that? I think it's a real name... Ah well. Servei was walking to the park one day when a GIANT BEAVER CAME OUT AND CHEWED THROUGH HIS LEG BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS A TREE! OH MY GOD! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Yes it did. Then Servei went to the hospital and and he didn't die but now he doesn't have a leg. So then he went back to the park in his wheelchair and he TRIPPED ON A PEBBLE AND HIT HIS HEAD ON A PARK BENCH! AHHH!!!!! So then he went to the hospital and now he has amnesia. So then he went back to the park because he forgot about all the bad stuff that happened there and he FELL DOWN A POTHOLE AND BROKE HIS LOWER SPINE!!!!! WHAT?! ON NO HE DIH'NT! Yes he did. So then he went to the hospital and now he can't use his other leg. So then he went home and had some soup and tried to remember stuff about himself. Then he fell asleep and his face FELL INTO THE SOUP AND BURNED HIM! Wow, I must have a lot of pent-up hostility for some reason... Herm. Perhaps me doth make too many bad things happen to poor Servei. Alright! I've got it! Then Servei went to the gas station with his no legs and his amnesia and his scalded face and bought a lottery ticket. He won. Hooray for Servei.

December 15, Entry 19

Today is the day that I'm bored so I'm just gonna write down any random thing that comes into my head. The Packers won last night. What? No. Some other stuff. Things that happen are things that are... eggs. Muffins have the power! This is what happens when things happen in the gregariousness. Weehoo! Quish. Quish-fish. Mrs. Wheatley's son says fish but he can't pronounce his Fs right and they sound like Bs. Ah... boredom. This is the time for lemonade! Man, this isn't even the same kinda random that my random posts were. Meh. Sometimes I like to watch things on the television! Television? Telemission! The mission here is to infiltrate the enemy base- WAHH! GRAWH! Foaming at the mouth! "WHERE'S MY WIFE?!" CHOMP! Hmm... is that offensive? I heard it on a video that was really funny. I apologize if it refers to something that can be considered offensive. Locusts! I do not enjoy locusts. They make noise that is loud sometimes. It hurts my brain-head. Ears. No head. Ears. Ears is different from head. I wish I had a genie with a million wishes! Bleh. Life is boredom. Katamari Damacy! Literally "Clump Spirit"! Isn't that AWESOME?!! No, no I suppose it's not.

December 1, Entry 18

¡Pie! Muffins are in Spanish like Toucan Sam is coco for Cuckoo Parts. The upside down question mark is the only gateway to the butterscotch jello that is my left head. The bile of her fear of carpets can only serve to empower the evil one's ceiling fans and their accomplice. The hamstring of doubt sweeps over my new bones made of tin foil like the fire of my recent swim in the oceans of the Gobi Desert. The dent of neverlasting life creases my construction paper in the cold, cold heat of the new microwave. Xylophone after xylophone I see in the parade of the Pope's llama stuck in its infinite pen of pudding. ¿Can it eat its way out? I am not the one to ask. If you must find the answer, speak to my dear friend, Jargel. He is the one. The one of knowledge. He knows the answer to the question. The question of streetlights and their nefarious hair. But will you dare to ask? Doubtful. You seem like too gooey a person to my aluminum eyes.

November 4 Entry 17

Bwahahahaha! Now is the time for EVIL LAUGH! Kekekekekekekeke! No. No Japanese lol srew-ups. For now is the time, I am FREE! Free from the clutches of the monstrous Seamstress! At last! All you readers, I feel so very sorry. Pffft. Who am I kidding? No I don't! You all suck! I do suppose I owe you all an explanation though. You see, by reading this, you have been put under the curse of the Seamstress, and I have been freed! In exactly 2 hours, you will be put inside this world I am trapped in, and there you shall stay until you meet the evil Seamstress's terms! Heh. I find this hilarious. Especially since I get to leave! Take that suckas! Take that! Boo ya! I have a body, and its name is ECSTASY! No not the drug. You people have screwed up minds.

October 29 Entry 13

Since, 14 was on paper and I've been missing one for a while, here it is! Another installment right after the last! Read on, reader, read on.

Our residence is filling, but we must have 3 by Halloween for my soul to be releas- er, wait. Forget I ever said that. This is all definitely for the general audiences' entertainment... British accent! OOOoooOOOOOoooOOOO! Anywares, where to next on our quest? *Ahem*. Mystical Bag of Mystic Mysticalness? Any ideas? "What the cruddlemunkers are ya askin' me for? I'm just a bag." Just a bag? JUST A BAG?! You, my friend are more than just a bag! You can float, talk, think, invest in commodities, why you can do anything that doesn't require normal human appendages! Now chin up before I find a bile demon to put inside you. "I'll be good!"

Ah! Here we are! The legendary Abandoned Slaughterhouse! What creepy creepers shall we find here? Goodness! The pure animal spirit of a dead cow! what say you, Cowman? "MOOOooOOOoooOOOOOooooo!" Aha! Creepy and a pun on what cows say! Pure genius, Watson, pure genius! "MooooOOOOOOoooooOOOooOOOoOooOOOO!" Yes, yes, we've heard it already, have you anything else to say? "MOOOooOOOOOOOoOOOOOooooooOO!" Bah! This ghost has lost its appeal. Any other animal spirits around? No, yes, no? Humph. Well then, I suppose we'll take the stupid cow. Your name is Craphead. Into the bag! "MoooOOOOOoOOOOoooooOOoooOOOOO!"

October 29 Entry 16

Huzzah! We have acquired a paranormalian! Onward to discover the next resident of our Halloween House of Hors D'oeuvres! Mystical Bag of Mystic Mysticalness, deliver Pinsky to the residence. "Yes sir, Mr. Lordship, sir!" Yes, yes, on you go. Hmmm... where to next... Aha! I've got it! We shall receive ourselves at the Mansion of Miscellaneous Hauntedness! Our next acquirement shall of course be a ghoul! Well, then. Off we go!

A few excruciating long hours of walking later...

Gah! We're... finally... here... we... made... it! All right, in we go. Herm... This place certainly is frightening-looking. But fears and frights are no match for the lordship of Noah's Dominion! Aha! Is this a ghoul which I see before me, the eyeholes toward my face? Good sir, I implore thee. How arest thou? "What the heck you doin' in ma house you stupid, ugly, fat, stupid-" Ha ha! I do believe that's enough joking around Mr. Ghoul. I name thee... Jinston! Into the bag now. "What? Hey, what the f*** are you doin'?! Get the He** offa me!"

October 27 Entry 15

Onward! To the streets of Noah's weird thoughts! Our first stop is the graveyard of Killington Point. There is sure to be an ample supply of zombies here! Now then, let us desecrate a grave and see what "comes up" so to speak. This appears to be a suitable one. You there, under the ground! Your mother is a very unenjoyable woman! Goodness! A hand appears to be grabbing my foot! Please release your grip, kind sir! "My mother is a very nice lady!" Yes, yes, I'm sure your mother is enjoyable enough. Now then, come up out of the ground so I can kidn- I mean, "chat" with you. "Very well, but you should know I don't enjoy chatter of politics." Aha! You are now at my mercy! Now then, get into this bag before I am forced to use force! "Grah! I knew no good could come from city folk and their flyin' machines!" In you go, that's a good zombie. You are hereby named Pinsky! "Pinsky my mutilated left foot! How 'bout... Brain-Eater!" Never. Pinsky it is.

October 13, Entry 12

Evil! Stuff is not around today, if stuff's definition is our resident ghostman, Smattley. He is in Canada visiting his secret Canadian ghost-family. However! We now have our resident bile demon, Jinjo! What say you, Jinjo? 

"Grrrr... Jinjo hungy. Jinjo want food. You look like food. I eat you now?"

"No! No, Jinjo! I am not food! Go eat your chickens."

"Awww... No one like Jinjo, even though Jinjo strong."

Everyone, I apologize for Jinjo's noncompliance. He will be put to death shortly. Well then. I suppose we have no more paranormal residents in our Halloween House of Hors d'oeuvres (get it? Horrors, Hors d'oeuvres? Anybody?). It being thus, we must go find some more residents to kidn- I mean, invite to our house. So, for the next time, expect a journey into the world of Noah's random thoughts!

October 8 Entry 11

OooOOoOooooOOOoOoOooooOOOO! Scary voice! I shall now speak from the mouth of Smattley, my own resident ghostman! What say you, Smattley? "I say! Why are all the buildings opaque? Why, back in the olden days, when all the ghosts were runnin' around, we had transparent buildin's every-darn-where! Only place we could live, us ghosts. On top o' that, there's no ghost-food! Where's all the moldy bread and bloody-bacon?! And the zombie-burgers, boy, the zombie-burgers! Those sure was delicious. Too bad dem zombies was so hard to kill. Ah, I remember old times when we had possess'o'parties. Everybody would go down ta the old graveyard and force all the zombies out of their hidey-holes, graves or whatever ya call 'em. Then we'd all possess 'em and whack each other to death. It was even better when we could find some guns or sticks or high-powered grenade launchers. Ah, the memories..."

Yes, Smattley, it sure was. Now go! Leave my house! Away with thou!

October 6, Entry 10

ERRRGGGHHH!!! Herm. The randomness of life is like a small aisle of jelly sauce. Why do dwarven suns relive the epic battle of shower? Alas! The shark has eaten my foot-light. By the dark of the navel I realize that no, the fjords are not the start of existence! But in the cold light of Hawaii's cucumbers, I find that glove plus monkey equals G-chord on the piano of everlasting xylophones. Never again shall I long fo the warm blanket of cotton candy, but relish the joys of the black outline that is my butterscotch soul. The man sits there on the roof of my post-it store, crying to himself, "Why, oh why did I forget my pet three-toed sloth's favorite flavor of honey? He rests now like that area of Arkansas where the street is most purple." As I listen to this man's solemn cry, I think of how I, too, have lost my former sloth's love, becuase of my only fault: the inexorable solidness of my neon carpet. He fell from the balcony of the 398th floor, only to survive, mangled in a pile of old bull spleens. The only beginning is the end of the beginning of the end of the komodo dragon.

October 1 Entry 9

I do believe that I will continue to write about Trilby. There is another door on the other end of the room. Trilby enters it. Inside this room is a fireplace with a large hunting rifle on its mantle, a few vicious-looking animal heads, some very old sepia prints, and a strange-looking wooden idol in a glass bell jar. There is also a man wearing a leather jacket standing in the middle of the room. As Trilby enters, the man looks around and spies him. " Well, it's about time!" the man says. "We've been stuck here for too long! Now, where's the exit?" Trilby says, confused "What? I'm not sure what you're talking about." The man, slightly disapponted says "You mean you're not here to rescue us?" "No, I've only just got here myself," says Trilby.

"Hmm... Well, what's your name"

"Trilby"

"Well Trilby, I suppose I should give you a formal greeting, my name is Phillip, and as of right now, you are a prisoner of this house"

"A prisoner?"

"There are five of us including you, the others are exploring the house. There's me, A student from the boarding school nearby (whose name I can't remember), Simone (something), a reporter for the BBC News, and AJ, who won't tell us anything about himself"

September 29, Entry 8

The epic of Trilby, cont.

Trilby looks around the room (wearing a burgler mask) and spies a safe under a bookcase. Being the master thief that he is, he opens it easily, but finds it empty. Not wanting to leave out the room's door, he tries the window, which seems to be stuck shut. Relucantly, he tries the door. He exits the room into an upstairs hallway. There is a man there who, frightened by Trilby's appearance in the burglar mask, runs down the stairs. Trilby, realizing it was the mask that scared him, removes it. As he walks around the upstairs hallway, he realizes that all the doors except for the one he entered the house from and the bathroom are locked. This being the case, he heads downstairs to look for another exit. Once down the stairs, Trilby finds himself in a small entryway with two doors, one leading to the kitchen, the other to the tv room. He tries the from door and finds it unnopenable, although it has no keyhole or locking mechanism of any kind. Puzzled, Trilby heads into the tv room. This room is fairly bare, having only a small tv and sofa. He notices an unused cord on the ground next to the tv and takes it, thinking it might come in handy later. He then heads into the next room, the living room. In this room there are two sofas and a rocking chair. There is also a fairly mediocre-looking painting of little value.

September 24, Entry 7

Herm. Today I think I will work on my writing skills by attempting to explain the unexplainable: the Chzo Mythos. The Chzo Mythos is a series of four free downloadable games by Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. Their titles are (in this order): 5 Days a Stranger, 7 Days a Skeptic, Trilby's Notes, and 6 Days a Sacrifice. The first starts off with a shot of a red car driving down the road. There is some dialogue describing the main character, Trilby, as he talks about himself and where he is going. Trilby is a self-described gentleman thief, who only steals what he's sure people aren't using. He is currently on his way to DeFoe Manor, the mansion of the late something DeFoe and his wife. They were both recently found dead on the mansion grounds, the wife stabbed and the husband hanged from a tree in the back. The police have classified it a murder-suicide, but friends of the DeFoes say that they had no reason to kill themselves, as they were completely happy in their new home (The husband having recently proved his connection to the DeFoe lineage and inheriting the house). The DeFoe Manor has existed for about 200 years, and all inhabitants have suffered strange, untimely deaths. Trilby, knowing only what his contact has told him, is unaware of anything other then that the house contains treasures of enormous value. After his arrival at the house, he uses his grolly to grapple into a second-floor window, which promptly shuts behind him.

September 16, Entry 6

As I can't think of anything to write about, today I'll describe the world Nixiv livis in. His planet is in the third planet from the star his people call Cinc, in the star cluster Zeran Mil. His galaxy is 564,913,462 light years away from ours, so it's unlikely we'll ever see him. Even though there has been no contact, Nixiv's world evolved much like ours did. When it was formed it was a mass of lava and rock, and eventually grew an atmosphere thick enough to support life. The appearance of people there is also similar to Earth's, except they have thicker hair all over there bodies. They believe in the importance of personal hygiene quite a bit more than we do, but I suppose you'd have to with a buch of junk always getting stuck in your hair.

They have schools and businesses just like us, although theirs are much more advanced. All school's on Nixiv's planet (named Htrae, ironically) have holocaps, although they look nothing like caps. They are actually very large helmets which insert the child into a highly realistic virtual world where the child can relive past events or visit faroff places. The caps directly stimulate the brain in such a way that it completely feels like you are actually at the place it takes you to.

September 15, Entry 5

Nixiv was on way to school. He silently wondered what they would learn about today that could possibly top yesterday's lecture on the Xacks Rebellion. Maybe a nice, long holovid on the origins of Vinsi? *Smack!* Nixiv felt something hard hit him on the back of his head. He looked around and saw Wincs standing on the sidewalk behind him. "Ha ha!" laughed Wincs. Nixiv quietly stared at Wincs the way someone stares at an interesting piece of artwork or a great sculpture. A strange expression of fear and confusion suddenly crossed Wincs' face. He slowly and jerkily backed up 2 steps, then turned and ran away at full speed. Nixiv continued on his way. He began to contemplate why Wincs taunted him so excessively, knowing full well of his Bio-enhancers.

September 11, Entry 4

If I could have any superpower I wanted, I would have the power to control time. I would also put on a contingency power that, if I should die of unnatural causes, would send me back to one second before I died and auto-pause, unless I, for some inexplicable reason, had to die. I would also be able to freeze time but keep certain things unfrozne, like the computer or tv. Then I could play video games all I wanted! I would also have all the time in the world to do my homework, or I could just speed through it. When I put on fast-forward it would also be like the Click remote and would give me an auto-personality. I could also basically do anything I could possibly want to without fear of reparations, or see the future by speeding up and then rewinding. I think I would eat a lot of junk without my parents noticing, although we hardly have any good junk food in our house. If I'm being honest, I have to admit I would probably steal some minor things, but since this is obviously never going to happen it doesn't really matter. Bleah. I need a genie or something... that would be completely awesome. I would wish for a million wishes. Then I would wish for the super-power to have any super-power I wanted. Then I would be the ultimate!! Waha ha ha!!! Erg. I wish I had a genie... Heh. That's kind of ironic.

Oops...

I forgot to title the last post... It was September 9, Entry 3

Today for my free write I think I'll talk about how my day went.

This morning my dad woke me up at 6:20 so I could go to marching band. I got up at 6:30 after a few failed attempts. I got dressed and went upstairs. I immediately lied down on the couch and myself a comfy blanket. Eventually I got up again and went back downstairs to get my stuff ready. Then I went back upstairs and we departed at around 6:58. When I got to marching band I got my instrument out and walked out to the field. Then we worked drill for until our shoes could've solved all the droughts in the world. I came back inside, put my instrument away, and set off for Spanish class.

In Spanish, we were called out to finally listen to the PDA thingy. First Mr. Mac told us about proper bathroom and hallway etiquette. Then, Mrs. Lieudeman taught us about proper assembly behavior. Finally, Mrs. Bortle taught us about lunchroom manners.

When we got back to Spanish, it was almost over, so we packed up our stuff and left when the bell rang. Then we went to study hall, which was replacing choir because it was Mr. Levenhagen's daughter's first day of preschool. I worked on my math slideshow with Dylan. That was pretty boring.

September 3, Entry 2

Today I'm excited because of the first play rehearsal. I play Guy, who is actually a main character in one of the plays (there are three one-act plays). I didn't think I'd get a big role because of my performance in the audition, which I honestly thought was terrible. I'm also excited because when I get home I get to play Mass Effect some more. It finished downloading and I played it all day yesterday (except for when I was at the freshman orientation). Ahhhh... I can't think of anything to write...

September 2, Entry 1

Today I can’t wait for school to get out so I can go play Mass Effect. I started downloading it yesterday, but my mom turned off the computer in the middle of the download and cut it off, but it should be done when I get home. I really like video games and tv. If I could, all I would do is play video games and watch tv all day. We don’t have cable or satellite though, so the best channel we get is Fox. I’ve always thought it was strange how Fox had such Republican-biased news and mainly Pro-Democratic shows. There was a Simpsons episode that explained it, but I can’t remember what the explanation was. Plus the tv shows consistently insult Fox News, which is even stranger. I also like to read quite a bit. I like manga especially, but I haven’t bought any new ones in a while. I also like to watch anime on the internet. You can see basically any episode of any series for free.